Celebrating 10 years! 2007-2017

Best Client/Worst Client stories

Be smart and don't violate any rules by overstating......but esquire13811/05/17
Family law client in custody dispute said she was going to h metsfan11/05/17
I'm assuming that was worst and not best? esquire13811/05/17
Client has a workplace injury, and my office represents him orange911/05/17
Had a client hand me a blank check and say “just fill in t midlaw11/06/17
Not close to my worst client ever, but among the bottom 3 I' cacrimdefense11/14/17
This is fairly common in family law, sadly. He is lucky he i guyingorillasuit11/15/17
esquire138 (Nov 5, 2017 - 1:23 pm)

Be smart and don't violate any rules by overstating......but whatcha got?

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metsfan (Nov 5, 2017 - 2:31 pm)

Family law client in custody dispute said she was going to hurt her kids and frame her husband. Then she fires me (owing me money) because I wasn't aggressive enough even though I fought for her and her bulls--t that was probably lies. I tell her that if she doesn't pay up I would be happy to sue her for fees and that in such a proceeding attorney-client privilege does not apply, that I would mention her trying to hurt the kids and frame the husband to impeach her credibility, and that the husband's lawyer who was a tough cookie (1 of 3 attorneys I do not get along with) would then likely subpoena me in any custody hearing to ask about what I disclosed in the fees lawsuit. If she or the divorce court got wind of her trying to hurt the kids and frame the husband, she would be lucky to get supervised visitation, let alone custody. She paid up.

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esquire138 (Nov 5, 2017 - 2:34 pm)

I'm assuming that was worst and not best?

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orange9 (Nov 5, 2017 - 5:30 pm)

Client has a workplace injury, and my office represents him on 3rd party action. Client is claiming he is totally disabled. There is a serious liability issue, and a jury will think the damages are inflated. Clients' current demand is in excess of our own economist's valuation, and we just failed to settle at a mediation because of their unrealistic valuation and expectations. There has already been a 7 figure offer made, and they want more than 3 times the offer.
Also, wife has a loss of consortium claim, but they made a baby after the accident. Can't wait for the jury to hear about that one. Not only is she still getting some, but I doubt the jury will beleive he can't sit at a desk all day, or maybe find a job as a gigolo.

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midlaw (Nov 6, 2017 - 4:18 pm)

Had a client hand me a blank check and say “just fill in the retainer.”

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cacrimdefense (Nov 14, 2017 - 9:32 pm)

Not close to my worst client ever, but among the bottom 3 I'm currently representing.

Client was raised as an only child in a family w/ some money (he will quickly advise you that he owns assets worth several million dollars). He's used to getting his way, and often has a loud fit when he doesn't. He moved to San Diego after graduating from college, and opened up a business funded by his family. After he had been there about a year, he met an aggressively plain Asian girl (a few years his senior) who accurately sized him up. She threw a little pu--y in his direction and acted like his GF, and in return he showered her w/ jewelry and extra cash each month. They bought a house, moved in together, but she always seemed to be short of funds each month, thereby leaving him to pay her share of the mortgage, more commonly than not.

Although he's almost 30, this is clearly his first "major" romantic relationship, so his learning curve is awfully long. Nonetheless, after about four years of being unhappy, and tired of fronting money to cover his GF's consumer habits, they get in an argument wherein he finally tells her she needs to move out.

The next day, the cops show up and place him under arrest for domestic violence. As he learned upon seeing the police report, he has been terrorizing her for years, and supposedly severely whacked her around 24 hours earlier (she had no marks). Further, this has happened "at least 10 times" previously.

This guy has no experience w/ the criminal justice system and is terrified. Further, my client has now decided he misses his old life and just wants his accuser back. He calls me almost every day, offering all sorts of advice his mother has provided to him, and keeps asking the same question (about the wisdom of my organizing a meeting including him, me, "her attorney" (The DDA), and his GF/"the victim" to resolve this case and have the charges dismissed). I give him points for creativity, b/c he has come up w/ at least 10 different forms of this same inquiry.

My client's most sincere wish is for this all to end and for things to go back to the way they were. He is convinced she is only fabricating this story b/c he failed to do something to address her emotional needs. Further, he repeatedly keeps violating the restraining order preventing him from communicating w/ his GF. Each time I tell him he can have no contact w/ her, he weakly protests, "But she came to my house ..." or "She called me!"

From what I've been told (by his mother who visits him weekly), the conversations in which her son and the girl engage have two main features: 1) His pleading w/ her to "drop the charges" and come back to him, and 2) her urging him to plead guilty to the criminal charges.

Yesterday I received four phone messages, wherein this client tells me it is imperative that I contact him immediately (I figured the girl called the cops on him or he's already in custody). I gave him a ring after I finished my morning court appearances, and was presented with the following question when he picked up: I want to propose to my girlfriend. Is that a bad idea?

Predictably, I gave him an answer he didn't like, so he followed his first question up with, "How bad?" My response to his second inquiry turned out to be just as unwelcome as my reply to the first. Today we have spoken twice, wherein (again, quite creatively) he has posed different forms of the same question to me.

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guyingorillasuit (Nov 15, 2017 - 12:20 am)

This is fairly common in family law, sadly. He is lucky he is defending himself in a criminal courtroom, and not in a family law courtroom. He has the jury, the constitution, and the evidence code. In family law, all he has is a judge, many of whom will grant a 3-year restraining order on no evidence whatsoever, in a summary proceeding lasting 5-10 minutes.

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